Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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