I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have post one night stand depression
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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