do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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