I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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