if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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