Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Im part way to drunk.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize