I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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