they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
