I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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