sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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