its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
