When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
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one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
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had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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