problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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