How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
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then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
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When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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