Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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