How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I party with great urgency now.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
