i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
babies were throwing up all over the place
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
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She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
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I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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