he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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