She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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