I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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