I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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