You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
