Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
