Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
should my penis look like a turkey
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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