walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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