Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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