Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
two words: eviction party
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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