I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
