Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm jealous of your bromance
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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