idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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