Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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