nut hugger
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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