Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
where does the pee come out of this thing
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
