Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
