What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
