how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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