Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
