wat bout pragnant strippers??
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
