just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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