Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
