That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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