it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
