"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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