i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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