yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
