I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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