It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
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we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
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I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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