so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
