I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
