I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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