I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize