drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
