I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
