My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
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your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
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I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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