Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
did i just pee glitter
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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