why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize